My wife, God bless her, has a saying – life is too short for cheap wine and bad coffee. You know what else life is too short for? Beating your computer in the middle of the Admirals Club. I’m sitting in the lounge as I type minding my own business when some nondescript guy walks in and takes a seat not far from me. I should have known things were headed south when he started feverishly chewing on carrots Bugs Bunny style, but I digress.

You know the type. We’re all here minding our own business, just wanting to get on the plane and get to the hotel for a a little shuteye before Monday morning, and in walks that guy in a track suit. Other than getting intimate with the carrots, things didn’t seem that out of order until the typing started. I mean, he’d been typing for a while, but then he began talking about it. “What the F is this?” Peck peck peck peck. “S&%T!” Peck peck peck peck. Peck peck peck peck. (Insert audible sighs and heavy breathing here x 12.) Peck peck peck peck.

And then the beatings began. Yes, it’s possible to beat your computer with your fingers. You know the type. Think about the scene in Up In The Air when Ryan Bingham asks his protege “Are you mad at your computer?” But this was more than typing with purpose – it was a beating. Dude was seriously mad. Then he pronounced for all the lounge to hear – “What the F&*K is going on here?!?!” Keep in mind that I had my earbuds in listening to Pitbull, but this was too much to ignore. I, along with most of the lounge finally looked up from our computers to see what was happening. Realizing he was being stared at, our friend packed up his now defeated computer, and left.

Thank goodness. Seriously people, don’t beat your computers, and don’t yell obscenities at your computer in the middle of the lounge. But it made for some entertainment too.

-MJ, April 19, 2015

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