Finding overhead bag space in airplanes these days is tough (please place your belongings above your own seat, thank you very much). Passengers bicker over seat recline and get annoyed over cramped quarters. (What’s that? I hope you don’t mind if I make myself a Tuna Salad Sandwich while onboard. I’ll share my Garlic Mash Potato chips with you afterwards). If you arrive at the hotel too early or too late you might have to wait for your room to be ready, and when you finally get in you’re exhausted after the ordeal.
Companies understand the frustration and have long been making gadgets to try and ease the discomfort, or at least distract from travel woes.
Here’s a look at 15 of the wackiest travel gadgets that you just don’t need. There’s no extra room in your bag anyhow.
11. Mini Travel Iron
I know that some of you saw this and immediately thought, “what a brilliant idea!” It’s not. Trust me. Do you see how small the iron is in comparison to the person’s hand? That means it’ll take you about 2 hours to iron a single pair of pants. Plus, how many hotel rooms have you stayed in that don’t have an iron or offer pressing service? Do you really want to iron while on vacation?
Um. There’s a new thing called an Apple Watch, which makes this clunky imitation a bit superfluous really. Here’s a note from one of the actual reviewers of the product, “Can’t see the screen through the mesh. Tough to get phone out in time to answer a call. No extra pockets. Otherwise, does the job of keeping phone close. Why not just an easy-release wrist strap? Oh yeah, that’s a wristwatch, isn’t it?”
The blanket comes filled with PET resin pellets in pocket-like pouches and it fastens in the back. Because really, you want to freak out already nervous people on planes and in hotels by strapping on a thick, bulky “blanket”. Is that a ticking noise or just your apple watch?
Bed Bugs are a hotel management nightmare, and even the guests finding a leftover plastic “joke” on the floor might not think them so funny.
If you made the heart-wrenching decision to leave your guitar at home after hearing what a certain airline did to this guy’s guitar, then you can wear this shirt as consolation. This shirt lets you actually strum the guitar “strings” and comes with a mini-amp that you put in your pocket. TSA might get slightly exasperated with all the wiring and 4 batteries, but if you can make it past them, Rock on!
6. GasBGon seat cushions
Described as a flatulence filter seat cushion, the portable cushions come complete with an activated carbon odor filter and a sound dampening mechanism to absorb…sounds. While I applaud anyone that ensures the air around me will be fresh-smelling, if you have an issue so often that it requires you to bring your own cushion along maybe you should be traveling to see a doctor.
5. Flyebaby baby seat
The product is described on the website as “a hands-free hammock-type seat that can be used on an airplane during the cruise portion of the flight as a comfortable and convenient place to put your baby.” It has a 5 point harness too. Great, right? Wrong. It is precariously attached to the seat in front, and the passenger could suddenly put their seat back. The angle could be wrong and some turbulence could sway that little hammock around (plus baby) like crazy. What about when another passenger needs to squeeze past? It’s also not FAA approved which is the biggest red flag of all.
You just slip PlaneSheets right over the headrest, tuck it in and sit. So stylish. Here’s a description from the company, “PlaneSheets tranforms a tired, overused airline seat into a cozy, happy place.” Bravo for the effort, but if you cover your seat you won’t be able to see the fancy pattern anyhow and it is just another thing to pack away in your bag. This one will definitely earn you a little extra elbow room from your seatmates though, and they’ll probably expect you to have a gallon of hand sanitizer with you too.
This is a great way to keep people away. Even if they ask you if the seat next to yours is taken, you’ll never be able to get the Ostrich Pillow over your neck in time to see and answer. CNBC says, ““The more people hear about it and then see it on people, the more likely they are to buy it.” Is that a dare? You go first! No, you!
Those huge U-shaped pillows are a bulky eyesore, and there are now ones with snaps and changeable colors. This one takes the cake though. From Stupid.com’s website, “The plump yet firm legs make for great neck support and that notorious rear end makes for the most comfortable head rest imaginable.” Plus, if that wasn’t weird enough, when you squeeze Santa’s foot he also let’s out a gassy sound followed by comments such as “Oh Rudolph, what did you eat?” If you’re on a 4 hour flight the novelty will only last so long.
The Shouting Jug is easy to carry with you since it is light and plastic. The mouth is designed so it will fit over your mouth, and you can shout into it as loud as you want and only a quiet whisper of the words comes out the other end. You might be on the edge of a breakdown while traveling. Try to avoid shouting into a vase while wearing a heavy filled blanket and a santa bum slung around your neck though. You don’t need these gadgets to enjoy your trip!
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